No, this is not my confession of organizing an underground rebellion against all things ecologically-friendly; because that would just be strange, especially considering my husband’s line of employment. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, right? (Though, technically, it’s usually me feeding him.)
By green, I mean the color you turn when you feel like you’re going to lose your lunch. Hug the toilet. Wretch up your toenails.
For my whole life, I have despised puking. Growing up, if I had a stomach bug, I would just lay in bed, awake and miserable for hours, just to postpone the inevitable. People would say things like, “If you just do it already, you’ll feel better.” But that logic fell on deaf ears; I hated puking more than I hated lying there in misery. My friend Nan and I once discussed our mutual loathing of the act, and realized we would both have “phantom nausea,” sometimes for days, when we knew a stomach bug was making its way around the community.
Last night, I awoke at around 1 am with that dreaded feeling. I didn’t feel great going to bed, but at that middle-of-the-night moment, I knew what my future held. The nausea was coming in waves, and my stomach was in a tight knot. The main difference between last night and a similar night a few years ago is that I knew there was a solution that didn’t involve holding my own hair back: my secret weapon is apple cider vinegar.
My friend Caroline told me about this a few years ago, this tonic that has released me from even phantom nausea. Since I’ve been using it, I’ve not once had to sleep on the bathroom floor. Even during times when my whole family was taking their turns in bathrooms, under the control of that season’s dreaded bug, I was puke-free.
Sometimes when I share this tonic with a friend, their response is: but your body needs to wretch, it needs to get rid of something. But I say, nope, I don’t buy it. It’s like a fever: your body has them for a reason, and we let them go as long as we can without medicating. But if my kid is utterly miserable, I’m going to give them ibuprofen. If the body needs the fever to go high, it will do so even if medicated. The same with vomiting: if my body really needs to get rid of something, it will do so even if I give it a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. Otherwise, I’d rather skip the whole process and get some sleep.
So last night, I got up, made my way downstairs, and poured myself a tonic. I sat and sipped it while looking aimlessly at my computer screen, finding nothing better to do than tweet about it:
And just like every time I do this, I sat there thinking it wouldn’t work. I drank the whole glass and didn’t feel better. But I sat for about 10 more minutes, and realized how tired I was, that I’d rather be in my bed. So I went back upstairs, still feeling a little queasy, and then woke up 5 hours later to the sound of my 2-year old screaming for granola.
Which, for once, was a welcome sound.
Tonic for Nausea
Pour vinegar into glass of water, and sip entire glass. Nausea should dissipate within 20-30 minutes. Repeat as necessary.
* If you have been exposed to a stomach bug, you can drink this tonic 3x a day to avoid getting the bug.
This post is part of Simple Lives Thursday at GNOWFGLINS.