Reasons to start stockpiling food

  1. You were single and in grad school during the Y2K scare, only concerned with how you were getting to and from New Orleans for New Year’s Eve 1999, and have a vague feeling that you missed out on something.
  2. Nursing a burgeoning case of agoraphobia, you would like to eventually not have to go to the grocery store, at all, ever again.
  3. You like to brag about how long you could continue to feed your family of five in the case of a natural disaster, grid failure, or the impending government shutdown on all organic/natural food.
  4. Concerned about the current state of NFL lockout, you fear the city of Indianapolis will let go its obsessive, relentless pursuit of readiness to host the gajillion football fans that will (or will not?) descend upon our fair city for Superbowl XLVI. You figure that if the city falls short, everyone can come eat at your house.
  5. You are charmed by and respect the food politics of the Mennonites at the farmer’s market, but decide that the long skirt and white bonnet aren’t your look. (Mennonites stockpile, right?)
  6. Obsessed with both containers and restaurant supply stores, you impulsively purchase half a dozen 5-gallon cambro food-grade storage bins. It is only when you get them home that you realize you might want to have something to put in them.
  7. Who doesn’t want 100 pounds of organic rolled oats. Really, tell me one person.
  8. You figure that if you have a 1200 square-foot basement, and don’t plan on ever using it for real, genuine, livable space, you should at least put something useful down there lest it be filled to the brim with the junk to which you are so strangely sentimentally attached that you can’t give it away.
  9. Your personal goal is to feed your family of five on just 10ยข a day.
  10. Hoping to put away a nest egg for your kids’ college education, you want to design and sell a bumper sticker that reads “Bulk. It’s the new black.”
  11. Your paranoia has not reached its full potential.


Yes, those are my own bulk bins, in my own basement. More details on why, really, I’m doing this, later this week.

17 thoughts on “Reasons to start stockpiling food

    1. Ok, I think I misjudged. It’s probably more like 800 square feet, including the unusable space under the stairs.

      Which is almost the size of your apartment — but hey, that’s not bad in apartment-land, is it? I remember almost renting one that was just shy of 500sf.

  1. I, too, am starting to notice in myself a massive agoraphobic streak. As in, I’m *supposed* to be packing for my honeymoon right now and I’m on Twitter, Facebook, and ALL AT THE SAME TIME and feeling that the house is really too much of a wreck right now for the house sitter to see… And yet, here I type. (I’m using the fact that your new brother-in-law is still asleep as a reason to not move a muscle as well.) But in reality I am actively avoiding the inevitable panic attack coming that I have to leave my house and my dog for FOUR WHOLE DAYS.

    Also, your basement really SHOULD BE USED for a tornado shelter. =)

    1. get thyself out of that apartment and GO TO THE BEACH ALREADY. your dog, house, etc. will be fine.

      I’ll keep the basement in mind, the next time the sirens go off and I’m actually awake ; )

  2. LOL! Love all of your possible reasons! I also stockpile food but I haven’t really discovered the reason. I feel calm and content when my 2 upright fridges, 1 chest freezer, and pantry are well stocked. My mom is the same way so I guess it’s genetic. I joke with her that if something awful happened and we weren’t able to get to the store, the two of us could single handedly feed our neighbor for a month! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I have the same pile on the enclosed back porch. It makes me feel safe somehow. I have the same feeling about a full freezer too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Melissa & Becky — it’s not necessarily a calm or safe feeling for me — and in fact, it can actually cause me anxiety because of the addition of “stuff” to our basement (even if it’s edible). But I do like knowing at the end of the month, when the grocery fund has run dry, that I can just scrounge in the basement for our dinners for the week.

  5. I stock food because I have been through a hurricane, several tornadoes and uncounted floods. It’s good to be able to take care of my family without worrying about whether the grocery store has reopened. It’s the same reason I keep extra cash hidden away (ATM machines do not work in the days following a hurricane) and am currently contemplating buying my family a generator for Christmas. I just have to figure out how to fit it into a stocking….

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